More delays…but I’ll start…promise!
After asking on the Yahoo! Group, I decided to wait for a few more days before I start the protocol. With this move, we are getting a new refrigerator. In case it doesn’t get delivered on time, I don’t want to spoil the HCG. Plus, it seems like a logistical nightmare trying to plan the proper meals in the midst of unpacking an entire house.
I bought a great digital weight scale. It’s shocking how much I weigh!!! 220!!! Oh, if I get on it before bed, it’s 223.2!!! holy cow! That’s pretty scary. I don’t think I’ve been this heavy since I was 21. I have not past the 200 mark for a long time and it sounds and feels obese even though I’m in denial 1/2 the time, envisioning myself with a much slimmer frame.
So my bff is starting the protocol at the same time. I’m quite ecstatic about that because it can only be positive to start this journey with such a close friend. Our goal is to start the protocol on Sunday, which is only 4 days away (it’s Wednesday). We’ll see!
T.O.M. #4~change of plans???
I wanted to start the protocol as soon as I ended my cycle, which can be any day now. But we are moving next weekend and I’m worried about the stress and logistic challenges such as transporting my meals and the HCG during the move. I suppose I should have thought about that before making the grand master plan of beginning the protocol.
My HCG was shipped via USPS Priority yesterday (Saturday). So it should get here by Wednesday. In spite of the moving challenges, I am considering doing it this way:
Start the protocol on Thursday and load for two days. This way, I can load properly. By Saturday, the day of our move, I will be properly loaded and only have to transport my protein, fruit and HCG with me. I’m nervous about that, though, because I have not read up on transporting already constituted HCG. I have only see people store it in the refrigerator. I’m worried about that. I’ll be asking on the Yahoo! Group and hope to get an answer there.
T.O.M. Day 3~crazy thoughts through my head
okay. So I know my cycle will end soon. Perhaps in just a few short days I will be done with it. Although I’m nervous AND excited about starting the protocol, I have been secretly delightful thinking about what kind of food I will be stuffing down my mouth during the 2 loading days. My husband treated the kids to Foster Freeze today. As the kids savor their chocolate sundae cups, I was thinking to myself, “hmmm, that’s what I’ll have during my loading days” and secretly smiled a little. Before long, I caught myself running down a list of calorie-rich foods that I must add to my loading days.
The thing is, I’m a habitual emotional eater. Food is my savior. It’s extremely comforting and I love how accessible it is. If I feel lonely, stressed out, frustrated, angry, sad, or even happy, I can always count on treats in my cup board to mitigate the negatives and magnify the positives.
So a big part of the obstacle for me is the separation anxiety from my favorite emotional companion. What am I going to do without it? And what if bad habits die hard? Even if the HCG suppresses the hunger, my fingers might just subconsciously reach for a candy bar or steal a morsel or two while I’m cooking.
Only time will tell. I am positive about the prospect of success, though. My best friend told me I must not be negative about it. Otherwise, I’d just set myself up for failure. Self-fulfilling prophecy, right? So I have been telling myself it is possible for my body to become slimmer and trimmer. It is possible for me to succeed throughout the protocol. And I am surprisingly optimistic and positive about going on this diet despite the fact that I’ve tried dieting all of life and have struggled with food issues ever since I can remember. I don’t think it will be an easy journey but I do think it’s possible. Why? Because so many others have been successful and they are my inspiration that I can do it too.
T.O.M. Day2: links and sources
I don’t think this blog will ever get as popular as some of my favorite VBLOGS or Blog. But I wanted to be clear in documenting this journey. I am following Dan Foss’ recipe for mixing the HCG and taking it sublingually (under the tongue).
My favorite VBlog is
Her screen name is mamacloc.
Now, for my favorite place to buy supplies, I really like cheapvitamins.com This is where I ordered the bacteriostatic water (because I am using Dan Foss’ sublingual recipe) and they were offering buy one get one free with reasonable shipping. I paid for rush handling of around $2 and it was shipped the same day. If you are considering following Kevin Trudeau’s phase 1 (“The Weight Loss Cure”), then you can find some of the vitamins on this site. Otherwise, Dan has great links to sites to purchase supplies. It’s listed under the shopping list link.
You can also find great cleansing programs, vitamins, teas, organic foods and even glycerin from Whole Foods. Where I live, it is called Clarks Nutrition. I highly recommend taking a trip to a health hood store before you start the protocol, while you are waiting for your HCG to arrive. Even if you don’t do everything called for in Phase 1 of Trudeau’s book, I think it’s very useful to begin a healthier eating habit. It couldn’t hurt.
There are places where you can order your HCG but drugdeliver.ca seems most reliable. I am still waiting on my order, though. It has been about 3 weeks and I ordered it with Priority. It is coming from Europe. So I am hoping any day now. And this time frame does not appear to be out of the norm, gathered from the posts I’ve seen on the Yahoo! Group.
T.O.M. Day 1
I’m a little nervous about starting the protocol. My best friend Renee says it’s totally in my head. And she’s absolutely right. It’s the years of habitual emotional eating that has me thinking, “can I really do this?” and more importantly, “I am really going to miss the one thing that comforts me!”
So I’m just counting down until my cycle is over so I can start the protocol.
I am waiting on the bacteriostatic water to arrive, which was shipped yesterday. Hopefully, everything will get here in time for me to start the protocol right away.
After all of this prepping and anticipation, I just want to start and get on my way to a slimmer and healthier me.
I have been harassed by my best friend to take Before shots of myself. As it is, I’m awfully shy in front of the camera. But I will force myself to do so before the protocol. I promise.
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Okay! my bbf keeps telling me to take the “before” photos…and I finally did it. But it is quite depressing and frustrating to look at these photos. Why? Because I am very overweight in these photos. I mean, what is up with the bulging flabs under my arms? That’s gross! Muffin tops are way cuter than this. And my knees are ridiculously pudgy. argh! I just want my cycle to be over so I can get on the protocol!!!
The dreaded "before" shot of me before the protocol
This is pretty darn bad!!! notice how my ankles can’t come close together in a natural standing position?
Side view of the "before" shot of me
Here is me 3 years ago, before I got pregnant with my 2nd child. This photo, by the way, prompted me to lose weight because I thought I looked chubby.
This is me 3 years ago before I tried to lose some weight; I remember I was on a diet and exercise regiment to lose 30 lbs.
I still need to get a good scale that reads in ounces. Only ones I’ve found at Target are the ones that read in 2 ounce increments. I suppose that will do.
I am guessing I’m pushing 230lbs. right now. If not, I’m definitely over 200lbs. This means, to reach my goal weight of 145, I have almost 100lbs to go!!!
Resistance is futile!
My best friend told me about this protocol months ago. She has been researching it for some time and has read Kevin Trudeau’s book, thus, became quite passionate about the protocol and its effectiveness.
When she first told me about it, I blew it off as soon as she said, “shots.” I thought to myself, there’s no way in hell I’d shoot myself up the heiny for any amount of vanity. Weeks and months had gone by. The mad woman wouldn’t stop bringing it up, although only subtly in conversations about food or body image and even shopping. Soon, HCG was stuck in my head for the next 3 months like an annoying commercial or a pop tune.
Then one day, at the local Target, this scrawny woman with her teen age kids tried to pass me at the shampoo aisle and mumbled to her kids, “I just have to get past this fat woman.” I immediately thought, “hell! I can change my weight but you can’t do a thing about your ugly mug!” Expletives were running rampant through my mind at the same time. But stunned, hurt, humiliated and angered, I couldn’t bring myself to respond. And lucky for my children I didn’t retort. Lord knows I have no skill to confront someone in a constructive or calm manner.
Then I got to thinking, can I really change my weight?
Before my 2nd child was born, I was able to exercise religiously and get the runner’s high every morning. My weight was acceptable, fluctuating between 159 and 162 (I’m 5′9″). My physical aesthetics, satisfying (especially to my husband, which is how we got pregnant with the second child). But this time around, I have yet to shed the weight. Aside from the fact that I managed to gain 82 lbs. during the pregnancy, I just couldn’t muster enough energy to get up at 6 in the morning and hit the gym like I did a few years ago.
I was depressed and even a little self deprecating. I have tried several ways to lose the weight this time but it seemed nearly impossible. I worked out for 6 weeks in a row and sweat like a pig without a pound shed. Fast food is not my cup of tea. But I certainly have the physique of one who visits McDonald’s daily and Super Size her meals.
Then one evening, I got on the computer and began looking up HCG and the Simeon protocol. When I told my best friend I was considering doing the protocol and asking her questions, she nearly fell out of her chair.
So this is pretty much how I began prepping myself for the protocol:
Granted, I didn’t do much of the phase 1 suggested by Trudeau’s book. I decided to give myself at least a month before my T.O.M. to begin the protocol and to just modify some of my habbits. Right now, I have a few more days before my T.O.M. begins so I’m just prepping the food and bracing myself. The biggest thing I’ve cut out is Equal or Splenda and the flavored creamer with my morning coffee. I’m trying to cut out sodas completely but I still cheat at every other day. I have, however, switched to regular instead of Diet. I have seen some improvement in my general health. I don’t feel so edgy any more.
What I think will be my biggest challenge is the 500 caloric intake daily because I’m such a food fanatic. But I’m trying to stay optimistic and hope that I will not fall off of the wagon and be tempted by chocolate, pasta, or pastries (my biggest weaknesses).
My goal is to keep track of my journey so that I can one day, hopefully, go back and see how far I’ve come. At this very moment, I’m quite scared of myself. Scared that I don’t have enough will power to endure through the protocol to reach my goal. After all, I’ve been a chronic dieter all my life! I have never been able to keep a slim physique much less keep the weight off. What makes me think this time may be different than any other diet I’ve tried?
If you’ve done research on the Simeon protocol, you already know the answer. As for me, I’m just holding on to the logic behind the diet and keeping my fingers crossed.
